by Mike Larson – Since my car broke down and stopped running last month, I have had to take the bus from Felton to Scotts Valley. I must say, standing here waiting for the bus on Highway 9 is a lesson in patience and humility. Watching the cars pass by, I started playing a game to see who was not paying attention to their driving. There is a cell phone law that was modified this year. It is now called the Distractive Driving law. A highway patrolman can now pull you over for anything that he deems is distracting you from driving, such as eating a hamburger while driving down the freeway. I call this the, The Hamburglar Initiative. Anyway, I started keeping track of all the people driving by me to see which distractive law they were breaking. The following is my observation:
Texting, texting, cell phone talking, normal, normal, nose picking, normal, texting, eating, yelling at kids, texting, normal, normal, cell phone, Sexting, (caught you), normal, giving me the angry birdie, drinking coffee, sipping soda, normal, dog barking, texting, eating yogurt, nose picking, normal, kissing, kissing? Yep, now back to normal, texting, nose picking, yelling at kids, dog barking, cell phone, putting on makeup, hands waving yelling into the cell phone!
Long lull no cars. Here comes a….dirty look, hey why the dirty look?
I’m just standing here waiting for the bus! Here comes another car, ooh, I just got ogled. Not bad for an old man like me. Texting, normal, blind man driving, hu? Oh, he’s wearing those shield glasses over his sun glasses; maybe he just came from the eye doctor.
Here comes another car, a very old woman driving slowly with about 10 cars backed up behind her. Here we go again, man yelling and cussing at old woman driving slowly, teen ager texting while driving with his knees, normal, texting, cell phone, normal, nose picker, gosh I could make a killing selling Kleenex here on the side of the road. Normal, normal, oh oh blond woman driving, normal, cell phone, putting on lipstick, cell phone, normal, eating a hamburger, someone giving me weird hand signals, gum chewing, mother slapping kids in the back seat, oh she just veered toward me.
Gosh I wish the bus would come by soon. Here it is, getting on, I pay my fare. The bus driver looks impatient. “Hey let me sit down before you gun the gas!” Slipping and swaying my way back to the seat, I get a little sea sick. I’m thrown into my seat as the bus rockets down the street. OMG! The driver is texting!!