Geek on the Street

by Laura Sottile — Gots To Have It continued ………….

THERE IS THE OASIS out from the GATED Desert World of false boundaries, a BARLOW FINCHES RESTAURANT! I’m starved! What a bright red door with a sign that says, Suit Yourself, I’ll do just that! I am a hearty and adaptable species. But now I must be fed! I am seated and ready. Waiting to take my order, uhmmm Carl? I will look over the menu. WOW, back so quick! Oh, Thank you for the salted bread, I feel the food of today represents the times. Don’t you? I think that rock salt is a derivative of a societal representation. Like in the case of salted caramel where it may be too sweet, so salt is added, and nothing is taken away, only more is added. Consumption levels must stay up, up, up! What do think about that Carl? Carl just walked away without a word to share. Personally, Rock Salt, is a way to tarnish a century old meme of a Little Goes a Long Way.

CRUNCH! OMG! I think the salt crystal just cracked a tooth! Am I bleeding? Not sure…Wow! Hi CARL! I see you are ready to take my order now. I love the homemade Ravioli with lobster filling. A close relative of mine, you know. I have been wanting to chew him for some time now.
How many raviolis in this plate? Two raviolis, I see. LARGE? 1/2 inch round, and the price is $49 dollars.

I see. Well, I will have mercy on my relative. I need a minute to choose something else. Barlow Finches seems to be creating clinching of certain sphincters which activate squinching and border line Grinching.

Ah yes Carl, you are speedy crab! I looked over the menu and it all sounds delicious, but I think I will have a quick bite so I will order from the kid’s menu. AH! I cannot, I see. I need to be a child or breed one. I do have some childlike qualities. I can beat the table to death with this spoon if you’d like. No, I see. Hmmmmm, may I have a minute to look over the menu again, much obliged. Carl is beginning to perspire through his stoic stance. Could be that nylon glare he persists with.

Hey Carl, I thought I would find you close by. This is perfect! I would like to order the Brambling Burger. But, not the one off the main menu, the one off the Doggie Menu. It’s exactly the same meal as the Burger for $49 dollars just minus the bread, and a quarter of the price. NO! I see, I must have my Doggie with me. I could show you a pic. NO? I see. AH! LOOK!

I have a DOGGIE HAIR right here on my sleeve as evidence! You’ll take it? Need to check with the manager to make sure it is actually dog hair, of course you do. What do they have petri dishes back there?! Wait for it, wait for it, Carl turns the corner and disappears! Now my quick dash out the red door. Whooosh! I was really looking forward to lunching at Barlow Finches. OMG! I still haven’t eaten! I am going to faint!

OOOWWWWWW! My shin! That is the largest doggie dish I have ever seen! It looks like a small well! OMG! Doggie TREATS too!! Tempting…
I will make like Doggie and eat and drink right here. Thank Goodness for our loyal canine friends. ARF! ARF! I am so adaptable! Taste like…

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