Thought Drops

by Debbie Harris — January is the Monday of months.
Do the people who put “This page intentionally left blank” realize that by adding that phrase, they are nullifying their statement?
What is the name of that little packet that manufacturers put in purses and vitamin bottles (and elsewhere) to help keep them fresh?
How come whenever I spell the word “weird” it never looks right to me? It looks, well, weird.
How many people wearing ear buds walking down the street talking are actually talking to themselves?
Speaking of which . . . can we create a symbol for people around us to indicate that we are on the phone. We need an international gesture for “Sorry, I’m not talking to you. I’m on the phone.”
My favorite Southern phrase is “tough as woodpecker lips.”
Mixed feelings: Supercuts gave me a $2 senior citizen’s discount that I’m too young for. I was insulted and grateful at the same time.
Has anyone really had their socks knocked off? Were they wearing shoes too?
Why are people who are really sick “sicker than a dog?” How did dogs get this reputation and why are they the measurement for sickness?
When the song “Happy” by Pharrell was popular, it was everywhere, saturating my ears. I happened to mention to some co-workers that I wouldn’t mind a break from that song. They reacted as if I’d just said I had a gunny sack of puppies and was heading to the lake with a couple of bricks. Don’t mess with people’s “Happy” song.
Is there a 12 step group for people with a computer solitaire addiction? Hello, my name is Debbie and I’m a solitaireaholic.
We all do it. We’re trained—we look both ways before crossing a one-way street.
My favorite observation about the Media: “News is a proctological view of the world.”
My favorite news article headline from 2017—Monterey County Herald, June 14, 2017: “Search called off after no sign of anyone missing.”
Almond milk has become pretty popular. I understand how cows are milked, but how do you milk an almond?
The next time you’re in a doctor’s waiting room, count how many people you see smiling.
How did Dr. Suess propose to his wife? Did he do it in a boat? Did he have to cross a moat? Did he ride in on a goat? Did he ask her for her vote? Did he have to cross the sea? Did he get down on one knee? Did he have to pay a fee? Marry, please, oh, marry me!
I know that the phrase “we’re pregnant” is intended to help the father-to-be to feel more included, but, dude, until you get morning sickness, have to pee every 20 minutes, watch your belly button invert, get stretch marks, can’t get comfortable no matter which position you try to sleep in, and expel a human being out of your body, SHE’s pregnant.
There are so many “must see” movies and “must have” products. I skip them all. I wonder what’s going to happen to me.
Why are so many of my mental notes staccato?
Am I the only one who hears classical music and thinks of Bugs Bunny?
For Lent: Has anyone given up giving up things for Lent?
If someone is giving 110%, does that mean they’re borrowing from someone else?
Do you have to be giving 110% to be “more than happy” to do something?
Am I the only person who has to work at relaxing?
Happy New Year!

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