If You Lose, Boo-hoo!

by Daria James — In lieu or recent events, I felt it is my duty to chime in with the haven’t you people ever heard of letting people take responsibility for their own actions?! No? Well, it is much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. And yes, I totally used I write sins not tragedies by P!ATD. I am hip, I know what is cool.

Recently a well-known celebrity overdosed and passed away. Other celebrities and fans came out to social media to express their sadness. Most of them stated he was a great person, a talented guy. They said he was not over a recent break up. Only a few acknowledged his substance abuse, which by the way was one of the reasons his former girlfriend broke up with him. Where were all these “friends” before he overdosed? Why are addicts always great people after they pass away?

I know a few addicts, some half-heartedly raised me (and they have the nerve to be surprised when I do not want to talk to them), and some are still in my family. After multiple family members tried to get them help to help themselves, they chose their addiction. Not their loved ones, not those who are hurting to see them waste away, not those who invested themselves emotionally and their monetary resources to try to save them from themselves. The addicts I know are reckless and selfish, they are not famous, and they are not wealthy. They are ordinary folks like some other people you might know.

The best thing I could do when I became knowledgeable and affected by their issues was to emotionally detach myself from their life. Oh, it is not easy I tell you, especially because they will try to suck you back in. They are uncaring and will say the loveliest things to give you a mince of hope, and after you do not fall for their hoax, they will say the unkindest words to emotionally blackmail you. Nonetheless, it is not impossible to free yourself. If you love yourself, let them go. To this day, I have some family members saying I am a terrible person for “abandoning them when they were in need.” Truth is, my conscious is clean. I went above and beyond and did not make a dent in their rehabilitation. One of those you can lead the horse to the water in rehab. But they said neigh, neigh, neigh.

Addiction does not care about socioeconomic statuses; ignorance has many speaking out against celebrities and their drug problems. I am not defending them. I am merely stating I do not judge those who took drastic measures to avoid their pain.

I have a heart that beats just fine. However, it does not make decisions for me. I leave important thinking and decision making to my brain… and coins. Or Rock-paper-scissors.

I know I am not perfect, but as long as I do not give up, I can manage to be just fine. If someone you care for is struggling with addiction, please get some help for yourself. Family members of addicts need help to learn how to cope with their loved one bad decisions.

I am not holier than thou. I too have flaws. The difference between you and me is how we deal with our stressors. How do you think I got this dark sense of humor? I was born in it. Molded it by it. Babies are not born sarcastic and cynical. We are shaped by our environment from an early age, and if you are lucky, you also get bullied by those special classmates in school. Because therapy costs money, we find other ways to externalize our darkness. Just don’t be a prickly d-bag. Personally, I decided to thrive in spite of challenges and hardship. Somedays it felt like I could not catch a break. Success is the best revenge. Furthermore, I am also the bigger person and do not rub it in their face. That is the civilized thing to do. Raise your glass and celebrate your life… but not excessively.

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