Primaries, Poems & Party Games

February 1, 2024
1 min read

Is it me, or do this year’s primaries have a nonsensical, Alice in Blunderland feel? New Hampshire is holding a Democratic primary without the incumbent president – and it doesn’t even count! Nevada’s Republican primary not only doesn’t count, but doesn’t include the four top runners. An “oops, your mic was on” moment with a candidate swearing he would “smoke” his opponent.
Smoking something. What we need a silly game to cope with the mad hatters. Drinking is optional. Rules – Make up a rhyme starting with the name of the last-mentioned candidate. Add the phrase “I spy” and a different candidate’s name. Janet and Allan Ahlberg’s children’s book is a good (and clean) example of how this works:

“Each Peach Pear Plum
I spy Tom Thumb
Tom Thumb in the cupboard
I spy Mother Hubbard”

You get the idea. Here is my offering:

Nevada ballots off to the dump
I spy Donald Trump

Trump expecting a tsunami
I spy Vivek Ramaswamy

Vivek banishing IRS
I spy Ron DeSantis

Behind the wall, DeSantis hidin’
I spy Joe Biden

Joe Biden ready to stump
I spy Donald Trump

Donald Trump out on bail-y
I spy Nikki Haley

Nikki Haley ‘stillin’ whiskey
I spy Chris Christie

Chris Christie punting the test
I spy Cornel West

Cornel wants fracking remedy
I spy Robert Kennedy

Kennedy says Big Tech’s no fun
I spy Asa Hutchinson

Asa Hutchinson on the fence
I spy Mike Pence

Mike Pence cashing in chips
I spy Dean Phillips

Dean longing for Joe to resign
I spy Jill Stein

Jill Stein third party run
I spy Marianne Williamson

Marianne Williamson making daiquiris.
I spy preposterous primaries!

Kids, try this at home! Use any celebrity name. Extra points
for Arnold Schwarzenegger or Chiwetel Ejiofor. Happy

Donald Trump
Joe Biden
Chris Christie (dropped out)
Nikki Haley
Ron DeSantis
Vivek Ramaswamy
Asa Hutchinson
Marianne Williamson
Cornel West
Jill Stein

1 Comment

  1. Nancy,
    This is so clever and fun to read! I enjoy your work here in FT, keep it comin’.
    Mary, fellow contributor (DILLIGS column)

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