February 29, 2024
2 mins read

Delivering food was one of my first jobs and one of my last. Because of my choices, there was a quest to find a woman to fall in love with a steady job who could help pay more than her share for the rent and didn’t mind that my degree in General Studies from CSUMB barely qualified me for the delivery job.

It’s hard to say how much money I’m going to make during a shift. Being a contractor, I basically depend upon the gratitude of the person. Sending your kid to the door is a technique adults use to stiff me. Although other times I’ve been completely unsuccessful in predicting who will tip well or not. I’ve been stiffed by the rich, the poor, the young, the old, and even when delivering to hospitality workers who also rely on tips. You would expect some kind of look from them when they leave you hanging but they don’t even flinch. Sometimes they smile like they did you a favor and you should be grateful. Luckily, it all balances out. Being stiffed is not a good feeling but thankfully there is always a big tipper right around the corner to help restore your faith in humanity and your ability to pay your rent. 

Food delivery times can definitely vary but Friday from 5:30- 8:30pm seems to be the busiest time. Summer, with lots of people in town is the busiest season for deliveries. There are occasions when everyone seems to want to eat at the same time and there will inevitably be a presumed late delivery. This is where I double as the mobile complaint department. Who is to say what is ‘late’? Domino’s used to guarantee 30 minute delivery or your order was free. That was before accidents, speeding and reckless driving citations increased for delivery drivers. One ticker can set you back finically to the point of no return.   

When I deliver pizzas, one of the most common complaints is that I forgot the side of ranch dressing. How does ranch dressing come in to play for pizza anyway? What’s in this stuff that makes it so appealing as a dipping sauce?  I regretfully have to admit that I’ve forgotten the ranch on more than one occasion. The most memorable time was when they insisted that I drive back and get this cherished dipping crud. Being so far away from the restaurant, I went to a nearby grocery and bought them a whole damn bottle just to satisfy the whinny customer. Where they grateful? I rather not say.

People treat food deliveries like a life or death situation and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t deliver like a NASCAR driver or an ambulance. Though it can be as stressful as brain surgery at times, I found it to be one of the most rewarding occupations I’ve ever had.  The most advanced behavioral science reveals that human beings only need two things to be happy; human connection and meaningful work. And when it comes to both of these things, nothing delivers like food delivery. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Previous Story

A World of Gerontocracy

Next Story

Getting Old…

Latest from Blog

“Don’t Say Nuthin”

Happy World Poetry Month.  To have much happier relationships and a much happier life,  remember the mantra: "Don't Say Nuthin.”

Weinie Winters

Anyone who has spent any time in southern Alaska has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living here (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by “high density” I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large

Enrich Your Vocabulary IX

In eight prior issues of The Foolish Times , I have presented words given to me in the daily word-a-day vocabulary enrichments I receive, words I can’t see being used in present day. This month I continue this discussion and offer:
error: Content is protected !!