The Chucklehead Speaks

April 8, 2024
1 min read
Cover Art by Arvia Glass

It was never the intent for this publication to ever be a news source. Twenty plus years later,
we have a scoop. The fix was in and this time, we’re not talking about pro sports.
If you have family or friends in other parts of the county where they actually have to check
changing weather conditions on a regular basis, spring has not sprung…yet.
In February, the crowd at Gobbler’s Knob gathered like they have for the past one hundred
thirty-seven years to see the most famous weather prognosticator, Punxsutawney Phil predict
when the arrival of spring will occur.
A brief history to those who are hanging on every word; this can be traced back to Pennsylvania
Dutch immigration likely bringing this tradition with then from Europe. Although in Europe,
they honor the badger. ‘Dutch’ is actually Deutsch, which means German. They also brought
beer. Lots of beer! On the subject of beer, I’m open to debate this synopsis of history any time
you’re buying.
The scoop:
In all these years, there was never a mention about Phil’s personal life. Media never saw a need
to report anything on Phil’s life beyond his once a year appearance. Our source on the ground
(actually underground) verified that he has a wife who just gave birth. Who knew he was even
dating and we’re assuming he’s married although no one saw a ring to prove this.
This brings me to a personal observation about influences and influencers:
He didn’t see his shadow this year which means an early spring. He was wrong. My feeling is
that he didn’t fully embrace the importance of his job; there were other things on his mind.
He came out of his den to get away from a tired, nagging woman to bask in a sweet moment of
freedom that he will never have again. He looked around at all that was familiar, said a teary
eyed good-bye to his ‘single lifestyle’ and ever so slowly, descended back to his den and his new
life as a family man. Who could have predicted this?

Stevie P. //

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