The Chucklehead Speaks

February 1, 2024
1 min read
Cover art by Arvia Glass

Sometimes, there is conflict between head and heart with fingertips and keyboard as the
referee. Just like the NFL, this column is a rigged game to keep the audience engaged.

Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark Holiday dedicated to devotion and love. A women’s brain is
showing a looping, Academy Award winning motion picture of running gracefully through a
field and in the end, swept up by an unrealistic looking man with no belly fat.

The reality is, women have expectations and most guys have belly fat. It’s not a two way
street and women paint their partner (at the moment) in a corner. He called a florist too
late for a delivery and Open Table was down because of being overloaded with all the other
shmucks trying to book a reservation. Credit cards are still maxed out from her Christmas

Feeling overwhelmed, he is staring down all the greeting cards at the car wash. This is
where defeat sets in and he knows he is way over his head. This is not what he signed up
for and his near future is going to be a world of hurt and loneliness.

For those who are on the hamster wheel of online dating and swiping, we dedicated the
March 2016 issue to this subject. Eight years later, it still is, sadly, an easy target for humor.
They don’t really look like their profile picture and we should only believe what their ex’s
have to say about them. So jump off, get out and make eye contact with someone. Try
having a conversation without an expectation. And please ladies, don’t have your dog with
you everywhere you go.

We treat love carelessly. How about we regroup with the first step to love ourselves? And
please, don’t put so much pressure on a holiday that is symbolized by a baby shooting an
arrow. He’s always been a bad shot and will miss your heart leaving you with a huge pain in
your ass.


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