World Predictions 2024

December 1, 2023
2 mins read

According to The Guardian, next year will usher in the beginning of cashless biometric payments, akin to iPhone’s FaceID. 

The truth is, your tired, aging mug will finally know what it’s like to empty out a bank account faster than an actual attractive face— with just one look.

In the same article, it was reported that fashion designers are prioritizing clothing that appears above “the Zoom line” due to the increasing use of video-conferencing technology. 

In reality, this shift fashion retailers are making post-pandemic, will be the catalyst for ushering in the new phase of a “pants-less” society.

Another prediction states that there will be a resurgence of the facelift. Consumers are growing tried of paying for cosmetic fillers every few months and are opting for more permanent solutions to save money. 

The truth is, these people’s lips, chin, and cheeks are deathly afraid of needles, therefore stapling the brow-line 6 inches back is the only way to keep them from running away.

The Guardian’s report also states that China’s economy will continue to rise as U.S. economic power significantly decreases. 

The good news is, once we perfect our brand of downward spiraling, economic failure, a counterfeit version of our economy will hit the Chinese market in no time!

Another prediction states concern around mass migration as a result of climate change. 

The truth is, due to rising sea levels, those of us in the Central Coast will have our homes and possessions conveniently swept away by gentle ocean currents, while the rest of the world grapples with logistics.

The report also highlights the increasing popularity and clinical use of psychedelic mushrooms. 

The truth is, any reality you happen to hallucinate after dosing yourself with shrooms will probably read as more plausible than the one you’re currently in.

According to Wired, AI-generated, deepfake media could potentially play a harmful role in the 2024 presidential election. 

In reality, videos which display politicians engaging in lurid activities, inciting violence, and making insensitive and obtuse comments regarding the health of the U.S. economy will likely be the inspiration for any ai-generated content created by bad actors.

The use of generative AI tools such as Chat GPT and Midjourney is increasing. According to Forbes, 2024 will usher in a new phase in AI technology, like the creation of “digital-only” businesses, which are completely self-sustaining, needing no human input.

The truth is, if you choose to utilize this technology, you will finally be put face-to-face with a form of intelligence that talks to itself more than you do.

A report from “Insider Intelligence” states that Gen Z is on course to surpass Millennials when it comes to internet usage.

The truth is, the most well-connected generation will remain the least likely to return your phone calls and contact you on birthdays and holidays. 

According to S&P Global, gas prices are said to rise in 2024. 

The good news is, once you can no longer afford to drive, the rest of the gas left in your tank can be used to barter with.

The end of work-from-home is on the horizon, based on a report from CNBC’s Morgan Smith. In reality, by this time next year, you probably won’t have a home to work from. 

For Californians, the ‘Big One’ is expected to hit sometime next year.

The truth is, you are much more likely to suffer from a heart attack by way of the emergency alert system going off at 2am, while you sit up in your bed too startled and confused to take cover for a 5-minute-old earthquake centered at least 60-miles from where you are. 

Arvia is a graphic artist, designer, and content creator from Southern California.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Next Story

The Chucklehead Speaks – January

Latest from Blog

The Chucklehead Speaks

Years ago, moms were a sacred group of people with high tolerance. Looking back inBiblical history, Mary was pregnant when she and Joseph came to Bethlehem for three daysof Grateful Dead concerts. Her water broke and they scrambled to find a room buteverything was sold out. Thankfully they found an

“Don’t Say Nuthin”

Happy World Poetry Month.  To have much happier relationships and a much happier life,  remember the mantra: "Don't Say Nuthin.”

Weinie Winters

Anyone who has spent any time in southern Alaska has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living here (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by “high density” I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large
error: Content is protected !!